By LaShunda Calvert, Ph.D.
Jackson Advocate Guest Writer
A big holiday is right around the corner. No, it’s not Easter but you might want to start saving now to purchase eggs – wonder does any grocery store offer layaway plans? I’m thinking about Valentine’s Day, a time designated to celebrate love, romance, friendships, and the woo, woo, woo! I know you just sang the tune. Can we woo, woo, woo…?
Furthermore, Valentine’s Day is typically a day reserved for couples, especially married couples to illustrate what they feel about one another. In addition, Valentine’s Day is utilized for proposals, engagements, and weddings. All in all, Valentine’s Day is about expressing LOVE!
However, and unfortunately, Valentine’s Day is also associated with divorce. Yes, divorce. According to many law firms, divorce filings increase around Valentine’s Day. Further, CNN Money reported in 2013 that the day after Valentine’s Day, February 15, is the beginning of the busiest month of the year for divorce filings. Furthermore, some research reports as shown on the legal site, Avvo.com, reveal a 40% increase in those seeking information and advice in the period right after Valentine’s Day.
Therefore, it is imperative that married couples (BOTH SPOUSES) invest love in their marriages all year round, not just on one particular day, that is, Valentine’s Day. Investing love in one’s marriage all year round can be the difference between a healthy and happy marriage versus a broken, separated, and divorced marriage. What’s love got to do with it? In other words, what does love have to do with having a healthy and happy marriage?
Love has everything to do with what many refer to as good marriages? Believe it or not, the following does not sustain healthy and happy marriages:
• Attraction (you know about the changes like black to gray, teeth to no teeth [putting teeth in], six pack to a package, firm and tight to cellulite – I personally refer to it as jelly, you know, from jam to jelly, I know…umph, umph, umph…)
• Attraction #2 to be continued – there does need to be some attraction – we don’t need Beauty and the Beast…no more to be continues, I promise.
• Material things (just will be more to fight about in divorce court)
• Sex (no comments…well I tried; you can tear the sheets off the bed and call their whole name but…)
I could go on and on about factors that do not sustain healthy and happy marriages, but I believe you get my point.
I do not want anyone to perceive me wrong. Yes, the list above can help a marriage experience happiness and good times, but nothing can keep a marriage like love, Godly love.
What’s love got to do with it? First Corinthians 13:1-3 (NJKV) states: Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
In other words, you can have everything you want in a marriage such as a nice home, nice vehicles, 2.5 children, degrees, titles, professions, substantial bank accounts, and not have love; your marriage is NOTHING without love! What’s love got to do with it?
Concluding, this month’s (February) publications will be dedicated to local married couples sharing inspirational and thought-provoking insights on how love have contributed to them having healthy and happy marriages. If you feel that love has played an integral role in you having a happy and healthy marriage. I would love to hear from you and your spouse. Please contact me!
Contact Dr. LaShunda Calvert for speaking engagements (Motivational, Ministering, Marriage Workshops, Marriage Seminars, Marriage Conferences, etc.):
Instagram: letsstay2gether4ever (Dr. LaShunda Calvert)
Facebook: Dr. LaShunda Calvert
Contact #: 769-206-3749